How Talk Therapy Helped Me Find My Own Narrative with Rheumatoid Arthritis

Whether you’re a chatterbox or not, trying talk therapy can seem daunting. For me, it was a challenge that’s paid off in more ways than one.

In my 16 years of living with rheumatoid arthritis (RA), I’ve seen many different healthcare professionals: a rheumatologist, physical therapist, neurologist, chiropractor, internist, cardiologist, and more.

While all of these healthcare professionals have been helpful, my therapist has been the most vital part of my RA journey.

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What is talk therapy?

Talk therapy sometimes goes by different names. According to the American Psychological Association, it’s also known as psychotherapy or simply therapy. It may also be called counseling.

Talk therapy encourages open conversations to assess, diagnose, and treat emotional concerns by changing our responses, thinking, and behavioral patterns.

There are different types of talk therapy, such as humanistic and behavioral, which all have a slightly different focus. Therapy can also be provided to you as an individual, or you may choose to have family therapy or go to a support group.

With individual therapy, you receive one-on-one support in a safe and private space. With family therapy, personalized care is emphasized, but there is family involvement and resources.

In a support group setting, you might be part of a group living with the same chronic condition. While there are others present, it’s still a safe space to share experiences and learn from others.

In addition to talking, your therapist can teach you coping skills and strategies to deal with specific problems and navigate the challenges and stressors of life more effectively. This can include:

• journaling
• being aware of thoughts and feelings
• practicing coping methods, like relaxation breathing, meditation, or visualization

Is talk therapy for you?

RA can affect us in so many ways. It can change how we think, feel, and perceive the world around us. It can affect our relationships and might make us vulnerable and afraid for the future.

It might change our dreams, the goals we set, and how we evaluate our accomplishments.

When things didn’t go my way, I often found myself questioning whether my RA was to blame. Like, did that relationship or friendship end because of my RA? Was I overlooked for a promotion because my employer believes I can’t be reliable with RA? Do the effects of RA make me a bad parent?

I didn’t feel like I had anyone in my life I could talk to about these concerns, and my thoughts would spiral, which led to my becoming severely depressed.

I decided to start talk therapy in 2013 when I found myself struggling to deal with the effects of living with RA and all the things happening in my life at the time.

Being able to talk through these whirling questions and spiraling thoughts with someone else helped me make sense of them. I came to realize some issues were not as complicated as I perceived them to be.

I went to individual talk therapy in person. For me, having that in-person experience was important, as I felt I had a real connection with someone. I felt supported and didn’t feel judged.

What are the potential benefits of talk therapy when living with RA?

Your therapist can help you manage feelings about RA, better cope with the emotional and physical effects, and show you how to advocate for yourself.

Your therapist can also be a helpful resource as you make treatment decisions, establish a support system, and work toward managing your healthcare needs.

If needed, some therapists can prescribe medication for anxiety and depression or refer you to someone who can.

When I was first diagnosed, I was so overwhelmed. Having someone explain the healthcare system, how I could prepare for appointments, and talk through my treatment decisions was the biggest help. I realized that a lot of the changing feelings I was experiencing were due to an onslaught of new decisions and systems to navigate.

Before talk therapy, I wasn’t able to articulate what I was feeling, but this has gotten easier with time. My therapist was someone who validated my feelings — however I articulated them — when no one else in my life did. She also encouraged and challenged me, especially with how I perceived obstacles and setbacks I thought were related to RA.

I feel blessed to have had a long relationship with a mental health care professional, especially in those early and difficult years. And while I’m not currently in therapy, I know that I can return if needed as I navigate this roller coaster life with RA.

Without talk therapy, I don’t know how I could have managed 16 years of ever-changing and challenging health.

What do you talk about in talk therapy?

Before I started talk therapy, I struggled to know what I wanted to talk about. I had some ideas, but when I got to the first appointment, I suddenly didn’t know what I wanted to say.

My concerns at the time were a new diagnosis of RA, chronic pain, and everything that life was throwing at me, and I didn’t know where to even start. But my therapist did, and that made all the difference in the world.

If you don’t know where to start, a good therapist suited to your needs should be all the help you need. However, in case it helps you feel more at ease, here are a few ideas about what to discuss:

• Present feelings: If you’re feeling sad, anxious, or angry and don’t know why, start there. Focusing on where you are in the present moment and speaking up helps reduce the emotional burden you are carrying.
• Past traumas: Talking about the past can help you address issues that you have kept bottled up for a long time. Often, these old wounds can affect the way we cope with chronic illness and life’s stressors.
• New life stressors: When you experience something new in your life, like chronic illness, this may lead to new feelings that you need help understanding. It might be hard to explain what you’re feeling, but just knowing that something feels different is a good start.
• Conflicting thoughts and feelings: Handling a new diagnosis can be extremely difficult, but you might think that your concerns are silly or unimportant — I know I did. In therapy, you don’t have to hide your feelings or put on a facade.

What you want to talk about will change from day to day, and it’s OK if you want to vent or just take a seat and let your therapist take the lead with questions. You run the show. Sessions are tailored to what you need at any given moment.

How do you find the right therapist?

Finding the right therapist is really important. It’s OK to try several different therapists until you find one who works for you. This might take some work on your part, but it’s worth the effort.

There are many places where you can find a therapist. Consider:

• Looking at your insurance provider’s directory: Check with your doctor and insurance plan for mental health care professionals who accept your insurance. This is how I went about it and settled on someone close to home.
• Asking a loved one: Ask friends and family about their experiences with their therapist. If they had a good experience, that therapist might be someone to consider.
• Viewing online therapist directories: Online therapist directories are a great way to learn about therapists and find one that might be a good fit for you.
• Checking out local resources: Your local hospital system or a nonprofit may have information about local services or programs they offer or know about.
• Trying an online therapy platform: There are many online therapy platforms available if you’re interested in online or telehealth options for therapy. Many are low cost or accept insurance.

The takeaway

If you are living with RA and struggling with its effects, you might consider giving talk therapy a chance.

It’s OK to get help. In fact, it can be the best thing you can do.

For me, it gave me the chance to take control of my own life story again. It allowed me to be happy and live fully despite the new challenges RA brought.